The Circumcision Discussion

It’s hard to believe that we have already made it through three weeks of teaching. I think I underestimated how exhausting and time-consuming each weekday would be, but I’m slowly adjusting to the many demands of the job.

People have been asking me if I am enjoying teaching, and my responses vary greatly depending on the day. I can have one exhilarating day, where I feel like I am at my best and the students are as close to their best as teenagers get and where I think, “Teachers have the best job in the world.” And then those days are typically followed by days that I now label as “Days When the Battle Is Being Won by Someone Other Than Me.” Those days are filled with students who won’t listen, students who don’t care, students who are lying, students who are sleeping, students who are cheating, students who have gone over to the dark side… Ugh. Those days I want to quit. There are some classes where I have literally thrown up my hands and said, “Fine. You guys obviously don’t want me to teach you this concept, so you must already know it. So go ahead and do problems #1-749 for tomorrow. Good luck, you little [insert mean name here].” (Those moments are not me at my most Christ-like.)

For those who don’t know, I am currently teaching the following classes: 7^th grade Math (Basic Mathematics), 10^th grade Math (Algebra 2), 11^th grade Math (Geometry), 8^th grade English/Language, 7^th grade Bible (Life of Jesus), 9^th grade Bible (1 & 2 Samuel), and 11^th grade Bible (Life of Jesus & Christian Living). It’s quite a handful, especially when I have no curriculum for any of the Bible classes. And I have recently decided to throw out the 11^th grade Geometry curriculum because it is completely worthless. (What kind of idiots would think it’s a great idea to make 90% of the content of a math book all about proofs?!) Which means I get to not only take on the role of teacher, but also curriculum creator, all without the aid of a library, my home stash of notes and books, or a reliable internet connection. At times it is very overwhelming.

But then the Days from Hell are followed by those in which two students get 100% on their geometry test and one student asks where he can learn more about the historical context of Jesus’ life. Plus there’s that one student in seventh grade who understands almost no English but he’s so earnest and adorable and I just want to put him in my pocket and carry him around with me.

And then somewhere mixed in with the horrible moments and the amazing moments are these awkward/funny moments. Here are a few: 

• Every time the 11^th graders see Lenny and I together, they start chanting, “Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!” Whether he kisses me on the cheek or not, total chaos always erupts.
• After a week of teaching, I found out that I had been calling a few students by names they had completely made up in their first-day introductions. That explains the many chuckles and snickers I received every time I spoke their names (which is not that uncommon since some of these kids have really difficult names to pronounce – I mean, you just try to pronounce Sahera (emphasis on first syllable, silent h, roll the r) without completely butchering it. Lenny has taken the opposite approach and just Americanizes their names so that Sahera becomes Sahara (like the desert, and nothing like what her name actually is).)
• The eighth graders (my most challenging by far) somehow come to class every day with a new type of weapon that they claim they “need!” for art class. Here are the things that have shown up so far in just that class: sewing needles, knitting needles (one of which got a boy in the eye, who proceeded to start bawling), razor blades, large butcher knives, wrenches, saws, gasoline (which somehow spilled all over the floor). I seriously need to have a chat with the art teacher.
• There is one 7^th grade boy who obviously has a crush on me. He makes up ridiculous questions to ask me and calls me Ms. Beautiful. Um, thanks for the compliment, Victor, but please stop with the staring.
• My eighth grade homeroom classroom, which has greeted me with a huge puddle almost every morning for the first three weeks, finally got its roof fixed. In the middle of my eighth grade class. They literally took the roof off first thing Monday morning while I was attempting to teach the little buggers. Everyone was screaming because stuff was falling from the ceiling and it was deafeningly loud, and, well, it wasn’t the best learning environment. But now I have a new roof and no puddles. Hello, silver lining.
• And for one of my personal favorites, the circumcision discussion. It came up in both my 11^th grade and 7^th grade classes as we talked about Jesus being dedicated and circumcised at the temple. 

11^th grade version first:

Darwin: “Um, Miss, what is circumcision?”

Me: “Wait, you don’t know?”

Darwin: “No, I really don’t know.”

Me: “Seriously. Are you messing with me?”

Darwin: “I really don’t know.”

Me: “Swear to me that you do not know. If I find out you are lying, I am taking five points off your final grade.”

Darwin: “I really don’t know what circumcision is!”

Me: “Does anybody in this class know?!”

Class: “No, we don’t know.”

Me: “Okay, I guess we’re doing this. Circumcision is when you cut off the foreskin of a penis.”

Class: [shock and awe, followed by a long list of questions] “What?! Why would they do that?” “Did God tell them to do that? Why?!” “Do people still do that today?” “Do just babies get circumcised or grown men too?” “Do they numb you first?” “Where do they do this? Who does this?” “Is it better to have a foreskin or not?”

10 minutes later they had all the information I could give them about circumcision. They were all traumatized, as was I. And I learned that people in La Union obviously don’t circumcise their boys. Ignorance really is bliss sometimes.

7^th grade version:

Me [taking the preemptive strike this time]: “Do any of you know what circumcision is?”

Class: [blank stares]

Me: “It’s when you cut off the foreskin of a penis.”

Class: “What’s a penis?” (Their English is not very great yet.)

Me: “Um, it’s the body part that only boys have.”

Boys in class: [All grab themselves and start jumping up and down, screaming.]

End of discussion.

There have been lots of laughs and awkward moments already, and each day is its own unpredictable adventure.  But I’m grateful for this new experience and the many ways that it is forcing me to grow – in patience, in contentment, in grace, in perseverance, in wisdom, and in who knows what else is yet to emerge.

- Kara